Welcome to katnoodle - online journal and scrapbook.

In a world where people quote shopping as a hobby …

Spend more time in the pub than with your family?
Beat your wife up?
Your children have no respect for you?
Inferiority complex?
Tiny knob?
Think your shit sports car is the bollocks?
Own lots of “driving music” compilations?
Run out of t-shirts that say “I’m a cock”?

Better get on the dog and bone to this lot …
http://www.southbayoutfitters.com/

‘cos you know, shooting defenceless animals makes you a real man.

Two today, well okay, last week, but still – hurrah!

Nearly as many posts in as many years!

From Amazon …

• Important Message – There is a slight problem with your order. (See below.)

  Oh, and what might that be? Not perchance the ‘slight problem’ of you not wanting to sell me the product?

• We’re sorry. This item can’t be shipped to your selected destination. You may either change the shipping address or delete the item from your order by changing its quantity to 0 and clicking the update button below. ( See geographical restrictions.)

  Ah yes, since you you put it so succinctly now I see. We’ll that’s just dandy. What kind of artifical DVD region bullshit is this. My money not good enough for you? You can’t rip me off enough by putting the item in the post? Global fucking economy? Not if you’re a multinational con artist corporation. You are behaving like spoilt children.

  The usual kind of lies you hear to excuse this kind of cartel like behaviour is “it is because the service and supports costs in your territory are higher, and you dear customer deserve and expect this high level …”. This however, flies in the face of the kind of service and support I have come to expect of multinational companies who fix prices, which is more akin to the level of service you get in a Moterway Burger King late at night on a Sunday when the two 16 staff are waiting to go home.

  You’ll get yours, and hopefully sooner rather than later. I hope your yachts sink and your girlfriends leave you pointing and laughing at your tiny knobs.

  Filed under: ‘I could write a well constructed argument but this is probably more effective’.

As I appear to have outdone my normal low level of posting by writing nothing for months I now resort to posting YouTube videos!

Having seen Siouxsie’s phenomenal performance on Later With Jools we’re off to see her live in Bristol.

So now, if you don’t know what I’m on about, or you just want to reminisce, I present, in order, some context from ‘76, showing off in 80’s, a rather lovely cover of Caroline Says II, and finally several from 2007. Outstanding.

Caroline Says II

Into A Swan Promo

Later With Jools 2007

Electric Proms

I’m currently doing some fantastically exciting (!) web work for a large national company who have the pleasure of using mssql – poor people.

Mssql is like some horrible, deformed half cousin of MySQL. It doesn’t have lots of useful features like LIMIT and so on.

But one of the most annoying is the lack of mysql_insert_id() functionality.

So with a bit of help from my rather more talented friend, Daniel, I present …

function mssql_insert_id($q,$link) {
// return the id of the inserted record
// $q is the SQL INSERT query
// $link is the db link resource

Just pass it the normal INSERT query you would run, and the db link resource and it will insert the record and pass back the id. It’s the exec bit that is important as without that both SCOPE_IDENTITY() and @@IDENTITY return null values.

Not too shabby even if I do say so myself.

The following story is reported by our man at the sharp end, Nick the Van (real name withheld for operational reasons!).

Honcho: Why doesn’t the colour printer work?

Designer/Tech: Is it plugged in?

Honcho: Does it need to be?

Designer/Tech: Seriously???

Honcho: You said you installed a wireless network!

There you have it, what more can I possibly add?