So, a couple of days back my PC got a virus.

A virus, no problem I thought. I have firewall on the PC, a second firewall on the router and a good up to date anti-virus package.

How wrong I was.

The following is a diary of events. Here’s my story…

• first up I try to find out about the virus and heal it. I’ve never heard of it and, no luck, it’s unfixable.
• turns out it infects all the .exe files, spread quickly, and infected files must be deleted.
• I run through various sites on my Mac trying to find more and look for advice.
• back on the PC I try a system restore. It takes a while and after much fussing about and a couple more goes everything is pretty much screwed
• it looks like a reinstall.
• using the Windows CD I try the recovery console and repairing the computer but nothing works
• so, reinstall. First I have to go through all this deleting and formatting partions on the main hard drive. Then allocate a partion then finally Windows starts to install. It reckons 40-50mins.
• It screws up. Some IRQ error or something and a blue screen. Back to the beginning. Delete partions, create partion, format etc etc etc
• Finally an hour or so later it works.
• next, most of the hardware is not working and there is no internet connection so I have to use my Mac to get the latest drivers and install them
• reboot a few times and with an internet connection now setup, run windows update. This takes forever.
• it finally tells me I need 24 critical security updates totalling around 20mb
• another long wait and they are downloaded and installed. All this time I have to be here every step of the way to answer the odd infrequent question in a dialogue box – I can’t just let it do it’s thing.
• finally I can get some anti virus stuff running – this is essential as we have windows running on a broadband connection open to a lot of hostilities. I am begining to realise that without another computer I would be screwed by now.
• I spend a couple more hours running the anti-virus over the hard drives. In total over 8,000 (yes eight thousand!) files are infected. For the record it’s Gaelicum.A, and it does not like me.
• Another reboot, another update, this time it’s SP2, a massing 96mb.
• A couple of hours later and it’s reboot time again.
• it’s worked. Well sort of. Everything runs except the internet connection now gives up after a couple of mins. Reboot, remove software, tinker with the firewall. No joy.
• I also start getting messages about my friendly virus back and some friends, a few backdoor.generic variations to add some spice to the mix.
• Google stuff, grab some patches and fixes via the Mac – critical updates, winsockfix (to fix the connection) and the monster 226mb SP2 directly from the Microsoft site using my Mac.
• Burn these to CD along with the security software, Firefox and other ‘essentials’. I now have some CD’s with critical stuff on that I can install as required.
• SP2 refuses point blank to work so I try to reinstall from the monster download on CD.

• another hour or so later and it’s installed. The internet connection is still screwed.

  I am really, really hacked off now. There is only one thing to do. Re install windows from scratch. Again. However this time I finally have the tools to do it right.

• Reboot from the windows CD. Delete, create and reformat the partition. and reinstall.
• Again I have to sit through this for nearly an hour as it asks questions. I do not live in Tijuana – why can’t it ship the UK version with a GMT default, sheesh.

The install works fine and I stick the SP2 patch straight on top. Another 30mins or so and reboot.
• Next the drivers and reboot.
• All is now working.
• Run Windows Update and grab the latest updates – first round 22 critical updates.

• Finally reinstall all my applications and reinstate my old user data.

  At last, 3 days later, I’m done! I feel like some uber geek, and I’m not happy. I need some human contact, I need to go to the pub!

  Conclusion
  This is way too geeky and techy.

  I want to use my computer not jump through these hoops.

  True, in retrospect I would do things different but this is the way it panned out.

  What I have discovered, to my cost, is that when it comes to Windows there are far too many critical patches and security updates and service packs and installations and validations and registrations and firewall configurations not to mention the amount of anti-this and anti-that software out there – it is laughable. It’s also a minefield. No wonder people just give up and reformat everything or give it back to PC World or the vendor. Unless you have a rock solid remote backup or clone of your data you are basically screwed.

  My issue is not that you have to know a bit about computers (that’s par for the course), it’s that you need to know a lot about computers to keep up with all the security issues in Windows. If you don’t, then things can get very bad, very quickly. Good news for the PC repair guys, but not something I would recommend the average business get involved with. There are simply way too many things out there actively looking to trash your data given the tiniest opportunity.

  In my work as a designer and photographer I have to use computers everyday. I have traditionally been a Windows user but got my first Mac about 1999. Five or six years on and with OS X now a mature operating system things are very different to my first experiences.

  If it was not for the requirement to test stuff on the same platform that the majority of my clients use there is no way I would still use Windows, it simply makes no sense. The only hold Windows has over users now is their dominance with the non-standard, non-complient Internet Explorer, but that’s another story.

  I used to build and support PC’s for family and friends and the odd client. These days I just recommend them to get a Mac. No major security issues, and easy to support. That’s not Windows bashing, it’s downright common sense.

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